“Three years. It's hung blinking on the wall. Full. Full of hatred, vile words, drunken rants, death threats. But the worst was the calm words... the ones that called me names, told me l was unloveable and worthless. Words I heard for 27 years. Words that were part of my daily life. Words that no one would believe he said-either to me or about me.
That answering machine should have come down three years ago when he died. I never listened to those messages. Never touched the machine. But I knew what was on it. My soul had memorized those Words. They are engraved on me. I saw that blinking light every day.
I've done an incredible amount of healing. I've established boundaries, shut out toxic people, surrounded myself with friends who truly love me...but those words, HIS words, HIS voice, HIS thoughts have always been here... haunting and taunting every good thing that has happened since 2018.
This morning... I listened to them again. I cried, got angry, and then realized they didn't define me anymore. So I unplugged it. Then smashed it. He has called me worthless for the last time.
For every victim of abuse. Get out. Get away. Tell someone. You can do it.”
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